Months ago, my grandmother was given 6-10 months to live. While visiting her in her care center or in the emergency room, I found myself thinking about where my mind will be when that time comes for me.
Will I be comfortable?
Will I be happy with what I’ve done?
Will I feel fulfilled?
Years ago, my Gma lost her husband and has been evolving through the grieving process ever since.
During her most recent visit, she said, “I’m okay now. I’m good. I’m so much better now.”
I could feel her spirit through conversations via text and over the phone, but this visit felt different. I felt her tranquility during this conversation.
I had to reflect.
Although I speak to loving and caring for oneself, I noticed for the last 2 years, I really took time to tend to my mental health and happiness. Prior to this breakthrough, I was on a rollercoaster moving through a thick fog of numbness. I was just existing.
I’m not sure of what rekindled my flame. Maybe it was watching women I admire stumble through life’s hardships. Maybe it was having to solely rely on myself for all things. Maybe I just grew tired of having emotional breakdowns. Regardless, I knew I had to make a change.
I have this newfound confidence in my mind, body, and spirit due to intentional self-care.
I had to find ways to balance myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Simply put, I had to do what makes me feel good.
I wrote. I prayed. I traveled. I exercised. I conquered.
“I’m okay now. I’m good. I’m so much better now.”
No matter where we are in life, we have to own our desires and press on. We have to WANT to overcome. We have to DO what it takes to find ourselves in a positive place.